Be Human, Not A Zombie

The other day I was chatting with a friend about how much I enjoy writing, and she asked, “have you thought about starting your own blog?” 

I explained to her that in the past, I had my own blog, but it wasn’t for me. I found myself justifying why, but that got me to thinking: has the “boss babe” thing gone too far?

For what it’s worth, I know I have what some might call an “entrepreneurial spirit”. I spent about two years doing freelance psychometric work. More recently, I freelance wrote for a digital publication. I also am in the process of writing my own journal to sell, which I’ll probably post about here in the future, and I’m putting together wellness mini-retreats for women. 

However, as much as I love being creative and earning some money along the way, I do not have a burning desire to commodify these things to the point where it’s a business. At least not now – who knows what the future has in store?

In the meantime though, I love to contribute. I love to help. I love to amplify.

I joined this site, for instance, because I really loved Pawel’s message. I appreciate that he took his own personal journey and has created a space where more people can reflect on their own. Hence, I find joy simply in being able to share things here as part of a bigger picture. When he first told me I was welcome to post here whenever I wanted, I was beyond touched. It was nice to be a part of something. It didn’t stop here either, a few summers ago, I also accompanied him to a tabling event, and that brought me immense joy, as well. While I’m not nearly as fast at assembling products and displays‚—and I certainly can’t lift as many heavy boxes that he’ll lug with him from fair to fair, I really enjoyed talking to people. It was fun to be able to make sure that while he was signing a book, I could chat with someone about why I loved his bracelets so much, or what I think the biggest value in his book would be to someone going through a period of change. I liked doing those things because that’s what I’m good at, and because I think that’s where I can make an impact.

On a similar note, I recently connected a young Indigenous man to a conservation site, so that he could pilot a talk he’s been trying to get some feedback on. He was willing to do it for free, but as I found a contact at the site to meet with him, I asked for him to be given an honorarium for his work, and they happily obliged. When I went to the session to show him my moral support, there was a crowd of about 30 people in attendance. He publicly thanked me… I wasn’t expecting that, but he did. In truth, I had forgotten until that moment that I was so responsible for helping to make that night happen. But, as I looked around the room, I was reminded. And I felt such love, and joy, and excitement for him to spread his message. A few weeks after the event wrapped, he sent me an email saying in part:

“Kayla: Since giving my talk I’ve been given a lot of other opportunities, and now my “problem” is managing all of them!! And it all started because you helped me !!!So from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much!!!!”

When I read his full email, I cannot express enough how full my heart felt. His success is certainly not all due to me. But I feel so connected in knowing I played a part in helping him begin. And it means a lot to see someone also be grateful because while I don’t do things for outward recognition, it certainly helps me to feel valued as a human being when I know they care about my support. 

This is what I believe I’m here for. Over the last year, I’ve reflected on it so much more…one of my purposes seems to be in helping and serving others. I want students I work with to have constructive feedback on letters to graduate schools. I want business owners to know I believe in their products. I want thought leaders to find spaces and communities to share their messages. And of course, I want to add my own spin on things here and there – but I don’t need to always do it in the context of my own separate venture. I’m a collaborator. I’m a helper. While it may not seem as exciting or “big” to others; in fact, it may even be construed as “lame” or “weak”. But I don’t care. This means a great deal to me.

Seeing others do well and hearing that occasional thank-you is profound. I’m reminded of that famous Maya Angelou quote: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I hope that there are many people I’ve crossed paths with in this life who feel better for having met me. On my end, I feel grateful to have known so many wonderful humans myself.