Okay, please don’t come after me math nerds or astrophysicists. I know it’s not that simple of a calculation, since I just multiplied 365 days x 40 years, but I guess that’s approximately how many days I have now been attached to this being, while floating around on this organic space ship.
It’s funny, because when you turn the number into days, it seems like quite a lot of time. Obviously, not everyone gets to have the privilege of getting to this number in their life, but whatever the number is for you currently, if you take the seconds, minutes, hours, or years, it’s probably enough to experience some cool stuff on this planet.
Have I wasted many days being useless and feeling shitty about myself, definitely!
I have been a zombie and still continue to be at times. WIP. Have I used many of these days exploring the world, trying new things, meeting cool people, failing and succeeding, trying to improve, mastering skills, having fun, laughing, loving, this is also a YUP!
The beauty with life is that anything can be seen through so many different perspectives, including the time spent on this planet. And when you take the time to reflect and are honest enough, you can notice that you have been, both, an evil little shit causing havoc in someway or another, and at the same time a beautiful angel helping anything and anyone around them.
Perhaps, the ratio for you has been 90% to 10%, or the other way around, but even so, that’s still something.
The fact is that we all do dumb things and act from ignorance in at least a few of the days that we are here. I definitely have! I have stolen lightbulbs during the Christmas season from houses because it was fun to smash them, I threw a fart bomb in a store and the girls bathroom at school before, I have stolen stuff, I cheated in school (a lot of times), I have driven drunk and high before, and I have treated people in shitty ways of that there is no doubt. And most of those things were done by me when I was quite young and stupid. I can only imagine the things I would be capable of doing when my survival would be in question, or if I was just hanging out with a much rougher crowd. From the standpoint that we are in currently, it easy to say we would do the “right” thing when looking back, but what would I be capable of doing if I didn’t have safety, security, love, or food easily accessible.
Especially in today’s world though, people seem to get amnesia of all their past devilish actions, and instead they have appointed themselves as judges and go on dealing sentences to others that have mis stepped on their path, whether it was today, or far back in their past. If this is how you spend your time, okay, that’s one way to live and spend some of those days, but I can bet my life that you aren’t an angel 100% of the time, and that’s even with all the things you probably cleverish-ly try to sweep away and hide.
The whole point of this is not so you feel bad about yourself and the days you spent being a shit, it’s just to say that many of us have a lot of days to work with, and even if you have been a total zombie for most of them, there are still days that have been taken on as a human. And if you can recognize that good and evil are an interplay that we all face in one degree or another, you will then maybe start to consciously choose your path, and by doing so, you will be the driver and not just do involuntary things because of some programming or under the zombie spell.
You are not the good or the bad days, you are something that is beyond them. And this is why it’s super valuable to spend at least a few of your days, getting to know Who You Are at the core, or else you will be always in judgement of yourself and others, and definitely never at peace.
And please don’t get me wrong here, this is not me telling you to go be good. It’s me telling you to be YOURSELF, but to do that you first need to figure out What That Is.
As for me on this 14600 day, I am off to cause some trouble 😛