Life is a game and I like to play it by unlocking new levels through doing experiments on this human that I am inhabiting. This is how I learn and am able to change patterns that aren’t benefiting me anymore and hopefully live a more connected and conscious life.
This years focus was about the sexual dimension. Btw I used to be so scared to talk about this kind of stuff, my mind kept me in fear of what I thought others would perceive me as when I shared vulnerable stuff (Thought is the keyword here) We always project of what others may think in our own mind and it’s mostly false. Being vulnerable is key, it sets you free because it means you are willing to face any part of yourself and accept it because that’s what is.
I guess the first thing I need to say here is what I considered porn in this case, because that is subjective.
Some will consider any pictures, videos, or other content that include naked or sexual activity as porn. For me, it wasn’t so hardcore! Simply, I did not watch any videos where people had actual sex on camera on purpose. One exception was movies that had glimpses of sexual activity, and videos or images of naked people, which I did watch. This was rare and to be honest, this experiment was just for myself, as is any of my experiments, so if you have an issue with this definition, well do your own purist experiment if you’d like. This is not to say I did not masturbate either, I did, but that was pretty infrequent too, mostly when the energy was too strong and overtook my day to day life.
Also, I want to disclose I’m not against sex or porn or whatever. They are all experiences and I’ve had them all, and enjoyed them. I also have no interest in becoming celibate in my life either, especially because religions or others tell one too. Most of that is horsecrap! just used to try to control and repress you. This human has certain needs and there is no good or bad here, it’s just what do you want out of this life. You are not going to heaven by abstaining from masturbation or sex, in fact, you are perverting your reality by denying something fundamental. Sex isn’t a big deal or it is, you get to decide for yourself on how much relevance you give it. It’s a part of survival. If you make other parts of survival grandiose, then surely will be the same for all the other aspects and your life will be that of making survival more and more elaborate, while missing out on other dimensions of life.
So, why would I do this when porn and sex feel so good? And it is constantly reiterated in our culture and all sorts of studies have been written that you need to do this in order to be happy, and to not have stress, or whatever else is written by “experts”.
Well, it’s because just like the majority of you, I have used these experiences as distractions to try to feel better about myself, and also because sometimes the energy inside of me was really strong and uncomfortable that it was just used as a release.
What I have discovered for myself, is that on the spiritual path everything you do matters. So, if you want to see life as clearly as possible, you must look at everything you do, and not just go by the masses, because that is the easiest way and will keep you living from a certain baseline. There is nothing wrong if that’s where you are currently, I’ve been there for many years enjoying myself, and actually, that is probably the reason that I was able to move on because I experienced for myself the limitations of that paradigm.
So what have I learned through this experiment.
One of the most powerful lessons I have learned is that of energy. You have an energy body and as I have mentioned in a previous post, is that we gain energy and deplete it through various means. One of the big ways you deplete energy is through sexual activity. You literally excrete energy through the body, and that is why you feel a nice relief after masturbation or sex. Usually, you feel depleted afterwards and that’s why you aren’t such a nuisance to yourself for a brief moment. You might also get a boost temporarily too, especially when you where operating in a low state and that helps shift it, that’s what the “experts” talk about it helping you feel better in many ways. If you have found peace within already though, then you don’t need to always use outer means to feel better. So no, you don’t need to have sex at least 3 times a week to be happy haha. I mean, if you are in a relationship, or not, and enjoy each other then that’s great for you. Even better if you can learn to connect through sex by being two wholes, rather than just parts, but that’s another story.
The thing with energy is that you can use it to experience higher dimensions if you aren’t just caught up in the process of gaining and depleting. You can take that same energy that you gained and shift it to unlock new possibilities. This takes conscious practice because it’s so easy to get taken over by sexual energy, as it takes you into it’s vortex and brings with it thoughts and emotions that overpower. I’ve definitely been there and still do at times, but I also have the awareness and discipline now, to sit with this energy and funnel up the spine to the other energy centers. Just released a Chakra meditation technique in my practice section on the site that can help you feel the different energy centers within you and eventually teach you to channel energy to the higher Chakras, allowing you to not just get consumed in the lower ones. You know that saying, guys just think with their penises, or something like this. Well, there is truth to that because if your energy is just staying in your sexual region, then your thoughts become sexualized and good luck fighting that power. That’s not just for guys obviously, whoever’s energy is stuck just in the survival processes, then your life experience will be that of mostly food, shelter, sex, and round and round it will go. You’ll keep shifting from different foods, living spaces, and partners in the hope that you will get somewhere else, yet in truth, you are just going around the same axis and can’t realize it because it looks slightly different.
The longest stretches I went on without masturbation was about 2 months. It wasn’t a struggle because I didn’t try to force anything. I also don’t usually entertain myself with what the masses do because all those things are infused with sex and then that’s what your mind clings to. Just watch some music videos from the top artist these days, most shows and movies, and even youtube is full of sex driven content. We are conditioned that when we see a certain type of body, it ignites sexual sensations, those then spark certain thoughts and feelings within us and if you are hit by that state, most don’t have enough conscious attention to then realize that this is a pattern that occurs and it can be alchemized to open new possibilities to transcend the sexual dimension for sometime. You can always go back after, nobody is stopping you. It’s just something new will be opened and patiently it will be there waiting for you to come along and experience it’s presence when you’ve had enough time going round in the spiral of chasing parts, rather than just merging with the whole.
Another thing I learned was about Porn itself. There is nothing wrong about porn parse, its a tool humans created to help displace sexual energy in a less violent manner than in the past, which is great. But if you start being able to see things from a bigger picture outside of your desires, you will have to admit that much of it is horrific, it has become a super powerful economic engine that preys on the vulnerable and is designed to keep you distracted and addicted. Much of it is violent too. I can bet most of you never really think about if the girl or guy in the videos is doing this willingly or in the right state. It also has an impact on you psychologically because it makes you believe that you can use people to just extract what you need and not worry about the rest. Life is complex, and you better realize this impacts how you view yourself and the world at large because the outer is a reflection of the inner and vice versa.
So you see, we always like to say as humans that I’m just one individual and I don’t have much power, but in truth, you have all the power in the world if you are willing to do the work. This doesn’t mean you have to go do a No Porn experiment now. This is my journey. I’m just showing you that I’m just one very normal individual that has decided to live life a little bit less commonly then the masses through the means I know how. This is only possible though when you suffer enough by your own doing, that you then take full responsibility for life at this moment. You don’t blame anyone for where you are, or what happened to you in the past (even if totally horrific), you realize that it all starts from this moment, always.
Sexual Energy is extremely powerful when linked with the higher energy centers. It can do wonders for your life if it’s not just captured by your mind’s wants. Shine your awareness on the sacral center within you and learn what it can teach you because creativity flows much better when you are free of repression. Allow yourself to be connected to all your dimensions, because only when you accept yourself in all your forms will you realize that you are one.